


I Remember

by Scifirv18



Category: Charmed (TV 1998)
Genre: 2 Years Before Forever Charmed, 6 Months after 7X20 'Imaginary Friends', Bianca and Chris' Garden, Birthday, Editing-Be Kind, F/M, Future Chris, Golden Gate Bridge, It's Been 23 Years, Memories, Migraine, Not Really Character Death, Recovered Memories, San Francisco, Stabbing by Gideon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28872825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scifirv18/pseuds/Scifirv18
Summary: It's just his 23rd birthday. No big deal.Turns out it's a very big deal when suddenly memories come rushing back.Dying hurts a second time, and he's not even dead.The Halliwell's are celebrating Chris' 23rd birthday like any other. When suddenly during, he finds that he can't breathe and collapses. Memories that aren't his own are flashing before his eyes and filling his brain. He wakes up and remembers everything from the Dark Future to his death in the past. And how everyone reacts is not as expected.
Relationships: Bianca/Chris Halliwell, Coop/Phoebe Halliwell, Paige Matthews/Henry Mitchell, Piper Halliwell/Leo Wyatt
Comments: 12
Kudos: 26





	1. 10AM

**Author's Note:**

> So this has been bouncing around my brain for a long time. 
> 
> Chris is my favorite charmed character. Not only because he's hot, dark and dangerous. Not only because he's another Scorpio like me. But because he truly did everything he could to save his big brother and the world. A true Chaotic Good with a dash of Neurotic thrown in. 
> 
> So I just wonder what it was like when he woke up one day with memories of dying. 
> 
> I place this about 2 years before his cameo with Wyatt in Forever Charmed, the series finale. And about 6 months or so after Wyatt shows up in season 7 to address the bad imaginary friend. Because he didn't seem to know what his mother meant by "change the future...again." So maybe they never told Wyatt, or Chris or Melinda. 
> 
> So here you go. I'm still adding to it. 
> 
> Don't have an official chapter count but maybe 5? IDK. 
> 
> Enjoy, I did a LOT of research to get things right.
> 
> =============+================  
> 3/9/21 Edit: I am going through and rewriting and adding more detail and (hopefully) better dialogue, please enjoy! I've also updated the tags!

It was his birthday, just like it had been every year since the day he was born. It was generally accepted that’s how birthdays worked, specifically for humans anyways. For some witches, there could be two birthdays, your actual day of birth and then the day your magic manifested. Some Whitelighters who were granted the honor at the moment of their death could consider their death day, their birthday, into a life of magic. 

Anyways, it was Chris’ 23rd birthday. The house was buzzing with excitement, though Chris wasn’t sharing in that excitement. Instead, he sat on his bed, watching Wyatt as he stood by the door. His parents were downstairs setting up streamers across the living room, dining room and parlor. His Aunt Paige had rolled her eyes at his parents as they set the paper strips up by hand even though Wyatt, Melinda or even Paige could do it with magic. But his mom was old fashioned, which lead to his dad standing on step ladders while she directed him from down below. His Aunt however was simply pushing furniture aside with her powers to create room to house the immediate family. 

He had tried to protest, he was old enough to decide if he wanted a party or not, but was overruled by not only everyone living in the Manor, but every one of his family members. So he sat on his bed, watching Wyatt in his doorway after having been banned from the downstairs by his Aunt Phoebe for “peeking”. He had seen the same streamers and sign and where the presents would go for 23 years now. It wasn’t going to change, so he didn’t think it counted as peeking, but when his Aunt gave him that look along with his mother’s exasperated face… It wasn’t really up to Chris anymore. 

“I don’t see the point.” He had muttered as he was banished to his room by his Aunt. Sure it was a birthday, but it wasn’t a big birthday, or even expected to be as exciting as his 21st birthday party was… THAT was certainly a night to remember, though he honestly couldn’t remember that much of it. Only that perhaps drinking an entire bar’s worth of alcohol, was not a great idea. He did have to admit, his grandpa Victor was right about Scotch, hell of a drink. 

Chris honestly figured that was going to be the highlight of his young adult life. Getting wasted on his 21st birthday. It was the “authentic experience” as his aunt Phoebe had put it. “And then who knows! Maybe you’ll fall in love!” She had said the next morning, much too loudly for his hangover. So he couldn’t understand why today was such a big deal, he was turning 23 and it was just another birthday in the Halliwell house as far as he cared. 

So there he sat on his bed. He could have gone to the attic to look through the book but Melinda had banned that too. No demon-hunting during birthdays was a strict rule in the Manor. Too many celebrations ruined by death, destruction and demons with bad timing. The word ‘evil’ was almost a cuss word on big celebration days in the Manor, so he was stuck where he was. Sitting on his bed, watching Wyatt stand in the doorway and tell him what was going on downstairs. While he wasn’t allowed to “peek”, his Aunt hadn’t told Wyatt he couldn’t tell his little brother every little play by play of what was happening. Assuming he didn’t hear it himself, his mother’s voice was something he could pick out of any crowd and she had a voice that was used to being listened to, having to run her own kitchen at the restaurant and he heard about how she was with the club they used to own. 

“Seriously, it's just 23, there's no need to go all out.” Chris said with a sigh. He flopped back to stare at the ceiling. His arms coming to rest behind his head on the pillows. He was still waiting to hear a crash. His father, while a good handyman, plus a stepstool? Not always the best result. 

He could hear Wyatt chuckling from the doorway, “Mom never does anything half-assed. She always wanted a normal life and normal is going all out with a birthday party for every year.” He explained and while Chris wasn’t watching him, the shrug was practically non-verbal. With only 2 years between them, he knew all his brother’s nuances and movements like the back of his hand. 

He rolled his eyes at his brother’s words, “Yea but I’m an adult, you’re an adult, this isn’t some kid’s birthday where we have punch and streamers and a clown…” He turned his head to look at Wyatt. The older blond leaned against his doorway, his arms crossed over his chest and smiling at him with WAY too much humor. Clearly his brother was enjoying his embarrassment and suffering as he was practically locked in his own bedroom. “Are you my guard dog or something?” He asked. Wyatt laughed and shrugged, “More like a witness. Make sure you stay where you’re supposed to be.” Chris groaned and sat up, picking up one of his pillows and flinging it at Wyatt. 

It was deflected with a single hand gesture and hit the wall next to the door instead. “Really?” Wyatt was still laughing and if Chris was slightly less mature, he’d have stuck his tongue out at him. Instead, he did the adult thing and flipped him off instead. He fell back once more and threw his arms wide on the full size mattress. “This is insane, you know you’re thinking the same thing! Even Melly doesn’t want big parties anymore and she’s still a kid!” 

He may have said it slightly louder than he meant to because he heard a faint. “Am Not!” from down the hall. Wyatt’s near cackling had Chris throwing his other pillow at him. Except when it was deflected back at him, he deflected it back to Wyatt, his older brother trying to send it back again. The pillow was suspended in the air for a moment before hitting the closet door this time. “Asshole.” Chris muttered. He knew full well he was pouting, but all week he had been BEGGING not to have a big party. While he sort of did get his wish, no friends invited, no teachers or friends of the family. He had wanted just a quiet dinner with his immediate family. He loved his cousins and aunts and uncles, but sometimes all the people bothered him. Too many voices and too manys bodies. Wyatt was much better with dealing with crowds though he wasn’t as good at them as Melinda. Now she THRIVED in a crowd, Chris was half-convinced she was a queen in another life (and in their family, it was possible) because she could command attention so well in a throng of hundreds. 

“Come on grouchy pants.” Wyatt said as he walked into the room and sat on the end of the bed. “You know mom just wants this to be amazing for you. I doubt she’ll ever stop giving us huge birthday parties even when it’s for our kids.”  
Chris groaned loudly like the idea terrified him, “You with kids? That will be the end of the world… I can’t even imagine you procreating.” But he was grinning as he said it and Wyatt reached across the bed to push his shoulder. Chris leaned into the push, it was something he learned as a kid wrestling with his big brother. So many things gave way for Wyatt when he pushed them with either his magic, his persuasive nature, or his just plain strength. But he often was stumped when things pushed back. Wyatt used his other hand to swipe towards Chris’ head, attempting to unbalance him and give him a chance to rub his bony knuckles against his skull. Chris was full on grinning as he got up onto his knees and shoved at Wyatt who, like the asshole he was, orbed out of the way and Chris ended up on the floor with the force of his dive. 

Wyatt stood next to him when he reappeared and Chris growled as he stood up, brushing himself off. “Pretty sure we agreed no orbing.” He said in an annoyed tone as he ran a hand through his hair to fix it back to normal. 

“No that only counts downstairs or in the attic because we could break something. Second story is free game.” Wyatt explained with a smile full of teeth. Chris growled at him again and went to the door, intending on going to either the attic or downstairs, being trapped in his room made him antsy, but Wyatt grabbed his arm, “Nope, sorry little brother, you’re grounded.” 

Chris huffed and pulled his arm from Wyatt’s grip. “I have to get out of here, this waiting is making me…. itchy.” He didn’t want to say that it was making him anxious, his siblings teased him enough for being the neurotic one while his mother just claimed he was “sensitive”.

Chris sighed, “I’m going to sneak out of here for a while, you want to come with?” After all if he was going to be Chris’ guard dog, might as well have some fun out in the city. Wyatt looked like he was considering it, but shook his head. “I’ll cover for you, but you’ve got two hours. Least i’ll have time to wrap your present.” 

He rolled his eyes and smirked, “Like you actually got me something… I’ll see you later.” He reached over to the dresser, grabbed his wallet and orbed away.


	2. 11 AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris' Day Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, not a San Fran native here and I SWEAR the location from the show where Chris and Bianca meet is fake cause I can't find it anywhere! So I took a little liberties with locations and designs...
> 
> We get a glimpse of Bianca in this chapter and I don't know where it's going but I thought it would be nice to include her. 
> 
> I hope this is a little longer. I'm not really confident in this chapter but I just really needed something before the magic happened.
> 
> =================+=============  
> Edit: 3/9/21: I added more details to the areas and what Chris was doing and more interaction between him and Bianca.   
> I'm sort of operating off of what J.J.Abbrams said about Star Trek Into Darkness. I can't find the exact quote, but about certain people being fated to meet no matter what and the ripples the universe creates to allow it to happen.   
> So that's why he feels drawn to Bianca. BTW I'm also going off of how old Bianca appears to be in Season 6. Chris is in his 20's when he comes back to the past. He's with Bianca in the future romantically. When we meet her as she comes back to take Chris, he's not even concieved yet. But Bianca is 5 or 6 years old appearing when the sister's track her down via her tattoo. So that puts her at possibly nearing 30 in my story. So that's math :D

11AM

He landed in the shadow of one of the columns at the Palace of Fine Arts. It was a bright sunny day, it was San Francisco after all, projected to be in the mid-70’s but that was nothing new to him. He glanced around the area, making sure no one saw him orb in before stepping out into the public space.

The columns were massive and he ran a hand along the stone before glancing up at the carved ceiling. This was one of his favorite places in the city. It was usually swarming with tourists but in November, it wasn’t exactly bustling, Tourist season was starting to pick back up where it had ebbed off in September and early October. Everyone wanted to be in San Francisco for the summer or for Halloween, but in the between times? That’s when the residents could enjoy their historic town. He watched the few people who meandered beneath the massive pavillion pillars, some heads buried in maps, others taking pictures and posing with the view of the lake in the background or pretending to hold up a column or tipping the cameras up to catch the ceiling in the photo.

He put his hands in his pockets and began to walk around at his own pace. Despite having the ability to orb since his adolescence, he often didn’t go where he wanted for just fun. Running errands usually depended on what errands and who could see him. So he drove for those, especially grocery trips or supply runs for the restaurant. Demon fighting and innocents, he found a location but it wasn’t exactly places he loved to be in. It was rare he used his ability to go to places that would be fun or exciting or simply relaxing.

And on his birthday, he intended to go where he wanted for the two hours Wyatt was covering for him, ignoring the thoughts of the crowd that would wait for him at home. He didn’t really have any sort of goal or place in mind just yet on what he wanted to do but it was up to him, and there wasn’t a rush. 

He roamed the outdoor Pavillion, looking up at the carved ceiling and twisted around the columns. His mom had taken him here a few times, once or twice for personal reasons, she wanted her sons and daughter to see the sights of the city they lived in and the other times, Wyatt and him were dragged along with their dad for some catering event or another for the restaurant. It was stunning and he loved the view of the lake. The inside was a little much in his opinion in terms of style, it was made for weddings, corporate events and parties after all. 

Being outside helped with his hobby as well. It wasn’t creepy to people watch if he could claim he was looking at the lake or the artwork of the stone. While Wyatt and Melinda had a better affinity for people, Chris was best at watching their behavior and seeing things that were out of place. Wyatt could charm anyone, Melinda somehow always knew someone was lying and Chris could easily tell if they were hiding something. The New Charmed Ones were a trio to behold when together, but when off duty, they were just fun skills to have and hone. 

So Chris people-watched for a good 15 minutes. Seeing some tourists who managed to get a cheap ticket on the airline to come to the city and explore when prices were lowered. He could tell who wanted to be there and who was dragged along for the ride because, at least the outdoor part was free to come to. 

Checking his watch, he moved to hide behind a column and orbed away, he had more he wanted to see that day. 

He appeared at Golden Gate Park in one of the shadows of the restrooms outside the Conservatory of Flowers. He carefully checked to see if anyone could see him before he stepped out and around to the front of the white building. There was so much open space, so much green. In a city that had smog most of the morning and exhaust most of the afternoon, it was a treat to see so much green sometimes. If the lawn wasn’t so manicured and open, he wondered if he could glimpse Nymphs between trees or bushes, but they wouldn’t come out where it was open and possibly be exposed. He admired the red and yellow marigolds planted in a pattern in front of the steps before ascending them and entering the building. Sure he could have orbed inside but someone would have noticed and Aunt Paige was always telling him not to use his magic to get things free. 

Paying his way, he stepped inside, instantly assaulted with the smell of mulch and moist dirt. It was preferable to the smell of demon guts so he didn’t mind. It reminded him of the small garden outside the solarium at home. His mother never had a green thumb, and his father preferred building to gardening, but Melly had tried her hand at it and had roped her brothers into helping before. 

Chris wandered through the pathways, seeing flora that were native and non-native to the area and the country as a whole. He could sense the magic in the place and knew there had to be nymphs or fairies that came in to see the many types of flowers and help them grow or collect their nectar. 

When he had walked in, he had snagged a pamphlet and used it to steer clear of the corpse flower that was on display. It wasn’t due to bloom for another year or more according to the pamphlet but he didn’t feel like getting close enough to test if it really stank so much. He dealt with enough remains of other creatures, he thought he might know the smell anyways. a

He made a meandering route through the displays. It was hot and humid, and kept a perfect temperature for plants to thrive through any weather, even if the weather didn’t change all that often in the city. He regretted a bit having a long-sleeved shirt on but it wasn’t enough to make him leave. 

Chris eventually made it to the back pavilion. A large open space in the shape of a circle. It was surrounded by white marble (or was said to be marble) and there were angels every few feet, and saints. A tribute to the churches that helped fund the Conservatory, made by local artists. The lawn was green and trimmed while flowering bushes stood between the statues, mainly different colored roses. 

Chris took note of people taking pictures and taking a break in the open air from the humid artificial air of the building. There were more than at the Pavilion, what with this being in the park and always a tourist draw any time of year. And it had a view of the top of the Golden Gate Bridge if you stood at a certain bench at other end of the circle from the entrance.

He toured the statues, seeing the well carved and created statues, Chris wasn’t an artistic person at heart, but he could appreciate the hard work and dedication it took to make something like this, especially without the use of magic to steady your hand or make the stone more malleable.

He took a break on one of the stone benches, the one where he could see the Bridge, and relaxed, taking deep breaths of the “fresh” air. There was no such thing as true fresh air in the city where smog warnings were a morning occurrence, but being around nature helped. He heard stories about Aunt Phoebe when they first became witches. Being on a kick about being nature based and being out in the outdoors and when his aunt had gotten incredibly drunk, she had told him a horrifying story of his mother and his aunt getting naked in the park with a bunch of Wiccans. He still had no idea why she was okay with telling him that bit of history he had NO NEED to know ever existed. 

And while they were real witches, with powers who fought off evil on a weekly basis, his aunt Phoebe was right. Sometimes being around nature just… helped. Grounded them, reminded them that their powers were only a piece of the natural world. 

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, maybe getting philosophical on his birthday was a bad idea. He went back to people watching, observing who was in the small courtyard area with them. Sometimes you could spot demons or spectres or warlocks just by watching behavior and sure he wasn’t allowed to say demons or go demon hunting, but you could never be too cautious and people watching was a great way to do that. 

He was doing just that when he caught sight of her. A young hispanic woman with a red leather jacket on over a black shirt that rode high, showing off her toned stomach. Her pants were simple blue jeans except they hugged her figure like a second skin. She was reading a pamphlet and raised her hand to brush her long brown hair over her shoulder and out of her way. Something about her captivated Chris. She wasn’t any different than other beautiful women he had seen. He was a young adult man and had dated before, she wasn’t even really his type either. He liked women who were on the shorter side and had lighter hair than the deep brown of this woman’s. She must have felt herself being watched because her head snapped up and she looked around, her eyes were hard as they searched before she locked eyes with him and narrowed them into a glare. He had the feeling she didn’t like being looked at. 

He gave her an apologetic look and turned his head to continue his people watching elsewhere, it was rude anyways to stare at someone outright. Chris found his eyes drifting back to her after a few minutes. She was by one of the rose bushes that contained nearly blood red blooms. Her hand was out to touch one when she turned her head and caught his eyes again. She sent him another glare and he swore he could actually feel heat on his skin but he turned his head again. Trying to find something else to look at but some feeling kept telling him to look back at her. Maybe she was a demon in hiding? Or a warlock? She was certainly dressed like one in the tight clothes, but it was also possible she was an innocent as well. He turned to watch her again but she was watching him now and she had a look of murder on her face before she advanced on him.

“You got a problem there kid?” She asked when she arrived, standing over his sitting form. Her arms crossed over her chest as she stared down at him, practically daring him to say something to her. 

Chris held up his hands, the pamphlet clenched in one palm, “No just admiring everything.” 

It took a moment before he realized what he said and how it could be taken and from the murderous look on her face she took it exactly the wrong way. “I meant the statues and roses, not… Your everything.” He blushed as he tried to explain. “I swear I didn’t mean to offend you.”

She was glaring at him, cocking her hip out with the confidence of someone who knew how to handle idiots like him. “Yea well, how about you admire it somewhere else? I didn’t come here to be ogled by some little horny teen.” 

Now that was offensive, he knew he looked young but he didn’t look like a teenager! He lowered his hands and frowned up at her, “Hey! I’m 22! Well, about to be 23, today’s my birthday.” He defended himself, and then felt like an idiot, of course she wouldn’t care. She might think it was an excuse to ask her out and clearly she wasn’t interested. In fact she looked like she might deck him. 

“Yea well, still a kid and I don’t feel like being your birthday present. So I suggest you leave.” How old was she that she considered him a kid? Or was it a mentality thing? Her tone left no room for argument though, but Chris grew up with his mom and aunts using that exact tone… He was going to argue. 

“I was here first, why don’t you leave?” And while it was true, she had walked in maybe a few minutes after he sat down, he didn’t realize how it just seemed to enforce the fact he was young. 

“Excuse me?” Oh… Chris had a sudden memory of the instant regret he had the one time he thought poking a hornet's nest would be a good idea… He just poked another one. But he already unleashed it so might as well go all the way. “I sat down first, the place is big, if you leave first, then i’m sure we won’t see each other again.” If looks could kill. She looked like rage incarnate before suddenly grinning in a way that made him fear a little for his body parts. 

She leaned over him, poking him in the chest, he could glimpse a red tattoo on her arm inside her sleeve. Her hair fell forward and he lost sight of it as he looked at her face, she had his full attention. “Listen kid,” Her voice was like honey but Chris knew there was something dark to it. “How about you leave while you still have use of your legs.” The honey in her voice transitioned to dark and threatening and if he wondered if he was correct in his thoughts earlier, was she a demon? There was a lot of venom and promise in her words. 

Having no sense of self-preservation, Chris shook his head and stood up. Realizing he was about half a head taller than her and while she had to look up at him, she only continued to glare at him. He couldn’t help noticing that even while it looked like she was trying not to kill him, she was beautiful. Her eyes were almond shaped and a deep brown. The kohl around it was minimalistic but it just drew more attention to her natural beauty. She continued to glare at him and he smirked back at her. Feeling brave for just a moment he nodded, “Alright, you’re probably right, you obviously own the place.”

He stepped around the bench to start walking away and heard her mutter, “Damn straight. You don't want to know what would have happened if you hadn’t walked away babe.” He turned his head to look at her and she was still watching him. The babe comment had him grinning at her for who knew what reason. He watched her until he made it back to the entrance to the garden and stepped inside. He didn’t see her smile and shake her head at him. 

Chris took a deep breath once he was back in the building. He had no idea where that had come from. It wasn’t flirting, she looked ready to kill him. If Wyatt had been with him, he might have teased him or tried to get her number while Chris wasn’t looking. He wasn’t one to just ask girls out, it took a bit to get him comfortable before he could do that. 

The whole experience left him a little weirded out and a glance at his watch, he realized he didn’t have a lot of time left before Wyatt had to fetch him. He had already spent an hour at the Conservatory, so he dropped his pamphlet in the recycling, headed to the men’s room and orbed away. 

He arrived an alleyway next to a bookstore he frequented. It was even close to the manor, only a good 30 minute walk or a 10 minute drive (or an hour with traffic). He stepped out into the light of the day and headed inside, intending on getting himself a personal present. He didn’t actually think Wyatt or Melly would get a present for him other than a card. 

He was browsing stacks when he heard the sound of chimes, turning his head and finding Wyatt next to him with a large grin on his face. “Time to head home little brother.” Chris rolled his eyes as he put a book back on the shelf, “I at least used the door, it’s no wonder mom and dad worry about you exposing us.” He whispered as he turned to fully face Wyatt. “So we do seriously have to do this now? Not even going to wait until it’s dark? What about the fireworks? I was so hoping to see them.” His tone was mocking and Wyatt shoved his shoulder playfully. “You’re such a brat, you don’t deserve a party.” 

Chris laughed, catching a few looks from the end of the aisle and he quieted down a little, “See! Let’s cancel the whole thing then!” He turned back to grab another book and noticed Wyatt looking back and forth through the shelves. “Oh don’t you dare.” He warned as he turned to look at his brother. “Not in here!” He took a step back, they could orb outside but the blond grinned playfully before grabbing Chris’ shoulder, “Not a chance little brother.” And they were absorbed by light and disappeared.


	3. 1 PM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris finally arrives at his birthday party, it's exactly as he expected and yet... not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. I had some personal issues. I finally got a job! 2 jobs actually, so at least that stress is a bit behind me. 
> 
> So i'll try to keep adding. I do tend to just go back and add more and more and more detail. Hope it makes sense to you guys. 
> 
> Anyways enjoy!

1PM

He sighed as Wyatt orbed them to the front of the manor. Facing the street. “Dude, really?” He asked as he rolled his eyes and turned to the door. “I know they’re all in there. I know they’re going to jump out and yell ``surprise!” He imitated the hand waving and big smiles and it was his brother’s turn to roll his eyes. “Come on, you’re being such a downer, just do it.” He gestured to the door. 

Chris let out a groan and reached for the door as Wyatt orbed away, presumably inside to join in the yell. Chris couldn’t help chuckling at how stupid his family was before he opened the door. Surprisingly there wasn’t a shower of sparks or yelling just yet. He shut the door and looked in the parlor. There was no one. He started to walk further in and didn’t see anyone on the stairs. Okay, this was different. 

“Uh… Mom? Dad? Melly?” He knew they were there. Of course they were there. He didn’t even hear giggling from his cousins, so where was everyone? He stepped into the living room and there was still no one around. The streamers were all over the place though. “Happy Birthday Chris!” Spelled in big letters with stars on either side and at least there wasn’t any pink. Just lots of blues and greens and purples. So his cousins didn’t win the argument for pink then…

“Hello?” It was getting weird. Where was everyone? He walked further into the living room to check in the conservatory and still nothing. He didn’t see movement outside so they weren’t in the garden. He cast his senses out and they were all definitely in the manner…

He turned to head upstairs when there was a loud “POP!” and a shower of sparks before everyone materialized before his eyes. He jumped and he would never admit that he had actually let out a yelp. His cousins were laughing and his Aunt Paige was high-fiving his brother. “Got ya!” Aunt Phoebe said before hugging him. “Happy birthday sweetie.” He hugged her back but was so confused. “How did you all…”

“Disappear? Me and Wyatt cloaked everyone. Knew you could sense us but we made sure you couldn’t see or hear us.” Paige explained and she high-fived Wyatt again. His older brother crossed his arms and grinned. Chris grinned back. “Okay, I'll admit. It’s a new one.” 

He shook his head and began to hug his cousins and aunts and uncles. Side-stepping Phoebe’s attempt to squeeze his cheek and gush about how old he was. She would never change. He ruffled Henry Jr.’s hair and gave him a fist bump. It was hard sometimes being the only boys in the Halliwell clan and Henry wasn’t even a witch. 

He had to admit, it was a pretty cool party. They were chilling out and just talking. It was just a family affair since Chris hadn’t even wanted a party. None of his friends were invited but he could just get together with them and Wyatt later at a bar or club or magic school.

It was just an hour of socializing before his mom announced the cake. He laughed, he knew it was coming and he knew it was his and her favorite. Double chocolate decadence cake. She carried it carefully from the kitchen and they all gathered around the dining room table.   
“Alright, cake then we’ll open presents.” His mom announced before beginning to light the two candles that spelled out ‘23’ on top of the cake. He wanted to roll his eyes with the routine of his family for the past 23 years of his life. But he indulged his mom with a smile and looked down at the cake as his family gathered around him and the dining table. 

“Alright blow out your candles!” Phoebe looked WAY too excited but Chris couldn’t help smiling and leaned over, pursing his lips and blowing out the candles. He couldn’t see Wyatt behind him but the cake moved away from him just as a hand tried to force his head into it. He was able to resist and there was a loud and angry shout of, “Wyatt!” From his mother. He turned around and shoved his older brother. They were both laughing though, every year Wyatt tried to shove his face into the cake and only once or twice had he ever succeeded. Chris had a much better record at getting the cake all over his brother for HIS birthdays. 

Chris turned to his mom, she was glaring at his brother and he laughed, “Come on mom you know—“ He cut himself off with a wheeze like the air had been punched out of him. The dining room swam before him and his eyes clenched shut as he doubled over in pain. He grabbed at the table edge while his other hand went to his chest. He wheezed again and couldn’t catch his breath. Pain tore through his chest, he heard his name being called but he couldn’t hear who was calling him or focus as many voices filled his head, a huge chorus of shouting. 

Even with his eyes closed, the world swam again and it felt like he was spinning hard and fast and he felt sick. His brain was so full, it felt like it would burst. His hand let go of the table and made a fist next to his head, trying to push the pain out of his head. He couldn’t hear anything now but the blood rushing in his ears. He fell to the floor, lying on his side and pulling himself into a fetal position. The pain in his chest was dull compared to the pain in his head. Hands were touching his shoulders and holding him, it felt like fire covering his skin, as if they were dozens of hands tugging and pulling and jostling him over and over again. 

Where was he again? Why was everything spinning? 

He faintly, somewhere buried underneath the shouting and tugging and spinning in his brain, he knew his eyes were shut but it didn’t feel that way. Images were rushing past his tightly shut eyes. His body feeling the pain and heartache from years of another life, another Chris. He tried to focus on things he knew to slow everything down. What was going on? 

He saw images of his mother, seeing her as taller than him and dying right in front of him. He let out a sob and a cry of “No!” before he saw her again staring at him in shock, moments of her freezing him, but him just holding still to pretend, holding so still, why was he faking it? Watching some dream reality try to tear her apart as he gasped in pain, it was his fault, why was it his fault? Then scenes of her glaring at him, “I don’t want to see you again.” The shot of pain to his heart at seeing his own mother’s eyes filled with hate and distrust, her staring at him once again in shock and confusion and then her heavily pregnant and hugging him tight and saying she loved him. 

He saw his dad, his loving father ignoring him, turning away from him. Orbing away from him when he needed him. Fighting against him with actual weapons, his dad beating him and mistrusting him, moments where he hated him. A hug and love filled goodbye, then his eyes full of tears and holding him while Chris let out a final breath. 

He tried to focus on Wyatt, his older brother, talented, caring, loving and then nothing but death and deceit and evil. Long hair, dark clothes, a sword in his hand high above his head before an execution. Holding his hand up and choking the life from him, no love in his eyes. Slamming a beautiful girl into a pile of rubble in the attic and pain like he had never felt filling his heart seeing her die. And then such a little baby before him, helpless and raising a shield against him. Seeing those blue eyes with nothing but innocence and curiosity looking at him from a crib while he told him he would stop him. Running to protect him from Gideon… 

Emotions and thoughts ran through his head so fast, his eyes opened wide with a gasp as he could finally get his breath but his eyes were filling with tears and the world was still spinning, he felt sick, trying to turn to vomit, but arms were holding him so tight. He didn’t even recognize as his father held him to his chest and his family surrounded him, calling his name, his brother’s hands glowing gold as he prepared to heal. He couldn’t concentrate, sour taste in his mouth, tears streaming down his face and his overloaded brain finally shut down and he passed out.


	4. 3PM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He shivered and in a burst of motion, stood up and crossed to the fireplace, his hand still over his mouth and he panted with the movement. His world was crumbling around him and his head was so full with feelings and words and characters he didn’t recognize, least of all himself. His hand slipped from his mouth to his hair and his other hand joined it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Chapter count just went up. Probably going to be more like 7 or 8. 
> 
> Like I said. I keep going back and adding WAY more detail every time I look at it.

3PM

When Chris woke up, he was laying on the couch, his brother’s hands on his chest and glowing golden. There were people all around him, it took a moment for his eyes to focus and register faces. His head was pounding and something in him was telling him he couldn’t be vulnerable at that moment. Everyone’s eyes were on him, it made him feel uneasy and he shifted to sit up but hands on his shoulders stopped him. He tilted his head back, making him further dizzy but he saw his dad. “We can’t find a wound, Chris, what happened?” He asked. 

Chris had lived with those concerned blue eyes all his life but seeing them now brought images of hateful tears and grief beyond imagine to his mind. His eyes felt itchy and red and he reached up to wipe them, finding tears. It wasn’t odd for him to cry, his mom and aunt Phoebe especially encouraged it. As young adult men, he and his brother should feel safe enough to cry around their families and within the safe place that was the manor. But staring at the teardrops on his fingers it sent a pang of fear through him. No one was supposed to see him cry or break. He had to be strong. 

Why did he have to be strong? 

“Dad…” He tried to say something, to answer, but just the sound of his voice sent a violent pulse of pain through his head and he hissed, pressing the heel of his hands against his temples to try and push the pain out. 

“Chris?” His father’s voice was soft and hands that were rough from handy work and yet gentle took his wrists and pulled them down so his face was exposed. His father was now kneeling in front of the couch, holding his hands away from his face. Chris was still crying and it was sending pings of pain through his core. Like it was somehow very wrong. 

Chris opened his eyes, when had he shut them?

“My head is killing me.” He muttered. He heard the singing sound of Wyatt’s healing ability finally stop. His brother pulled his hands away from Chris and sat back on the end table to observe him. Still close enough to touch him if necessary, but far enough to give him and his dad some space. Chris noticed Melinda sitting in one of the armchairs, leaning forward with a worried look on her face. "Wyatt?" She questioned their older brother.

“I can’t heal him, there’s nothing wrong.” His brother looked so confused and Chris’ headache ramped up as he saw the concern and confusion suddenly split onto a face that never showed anything but anger and confidence. He hissed again and shut his eyes once more. He needed to sit up. He had to be ready. 

For what? 

He groaned as he slowly sat up, shrugging off his father’s hands from his wrists and waiting for the world to right itself as his movement sent it spinning again. He tasted sour in his mouth and he had to swallow forcefully to keep from vomiting all over his dad who kneeled next to his knees. Chris opened his eyes and looked at the floor, and when it stopped rising and falling, he looked at his dad. The man looked helpless and Chris wanted to snort, like Leo would ever care. 

What the fuck? 

He suddenly wanted to hide away, throw up defenses he had never used before. He suddenly knew the best places in the underworld to hide from sensing and knew that the Golden Gate Bridge would be a great place to think of a strategy. His gaze returned to the carpet below his feet. It was a familiar carpet below him, it had never changed, through all the timelines and it helped ground him.

“Chris? Peanut, what was that?” His mom’s voice cut through the pain and he turned to look at her. She looked as she always had, laugh lines around her eyes and lips, not yet pronounced enough to be called “old” but they were there. Along with a grey hair or two. He suddenly saw her as younger, still strong and comforting but so dedicated and ready to fight. “Mom?” He finally spoke and it felt so strange and so normal to call her that. It felt like he didn’t even recognize her as she stood behind the couch and looked at him with love and worry. The same worry he saw every time she and the sisters had faced something terrifying, the same worry she had on her face when he was about to step through the portal back to the future. 

He winced and shuddered as more things came up. He didn’t know what was going on and he was going to throw up. Chris covered his mouth and shuddered again, his eyes shutting again as he faced forward. 

“Baby talk to me.” She asked again. He shook his head. “I think I'm going to be sick.” He whispered. He could hear the orbs and felt a hand touch his shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw Leo, No, his dad holding the sick bucket in front of him. He tried not to stare at it and force his nausea away. The hand on his shoulder burned with familiarity and with a coldness, as if it was foreign and promised pain.

He shivered and in a burst of motion, stood up and crossed to the fireplace, his hand still over his mouth and he panted with the movement. His world was crumbling around him and his head was so full with feelings and words and characters he didn’t recognize, least of all himself. His hand slipped from his mouth to his hair and his other hand joined it. Clenching in the fine brown locks as he rested his forehead on the mantle. “Chris what is going on?” Wyatt’s voice cut through and he heard movement behind him. 

Chris shook his head, rocking his forehead on the wood of the mantle. “Don’t. Don’t come closer.” He said in a rough voice. “Everything’s wrong. I can’t… I can’t get it right.” He trailed off into a whisper. 

“Chris talk to us.” His mother was sounding panicked and it sent a spike of pain through him, his shoulders hunching as if he had to physically hold the pain there. “You’re scaring us!” Her voice raised but then cut off. His dad must have shushed her.   
It was quiet just long enough for him to take a breath before he lowered his hands and lifted his head, he probably had a red mark on his forehead but it didn’t matter as he slowly turned, the nausea abating for a moment as he looked at his family. His father was standing now, his mother had moved to stand between Wyatt and his father. It suddenly shocked him as he realized Melinda had been in the room the whole time. She was the only constant that wasn’t changing. His father and mother and brother, even his aunts were all shifting in his head, making expressions and movements and saying things that didn’t match up to what he had grown up with. Melly was the only thing that didn’t change. She hadn’t spoken up when he had lurched from the couch, she seemed frozen there, her eyes wide in shock and fear for her older brother. 

Chris raised a hand and wiped away the tears before looking back at his mom. It was her face, the worry he saw mirrored on his little sister’s face. On all their faces that broke him. He took a stumbling step towards them and Wyatt stepped forward to catch him. He didn’t flinch but he was too focused on his mother’s brown eyes. 

A million images ran through his mind, connecting the last time he had seen her so distressed and as he finally made it to her with Wyatt’s help he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. The last time he had hugged her he knew it was just hours ago but now it felt like it had been years, decades. “Mom…” He whispered and he knew he was trembling but he couldn’t stop. “Mom… I love you so much.” It sparked a memory, hugging her before they were to send him back to his future. He let out a shuddering sob. He suddenly knew what had happened. It clicked and he whispered, “I remember.” 

His mother wrapped her arms around him in return and rubbed his back. She was trembling as well but with fear. She was shorter than him and it felt like she was the only thing keeping him standing. “Peanut what do you remember? What’s going on?” She asked, sounding frankly freaked out. A hand from either side rested on his back and he knew his dad and brother were there with him. He heard movement and Melly came up beside them, getting under Wyatt’s arm and hugging him from the side. Her grip was tighter than his mother’s and he dropped an arm to wrap around her as well. 

“Is someone going to tell us what’s going on?!” Two voices demanded from the living room entrance. Chris lifted his head and saw his aunts. Both were staring with frustrated and concerned looks. They had never liked being out of the loop and Chris knew that from more than childhood memories. He coughed as he pulled away from Melinda and his dad and brother but grabbed and held onto his mom’s hand. 

It was like pulling a coat on, how his posture straightened and he felt himself push down the pain in his head, in his chest and speak with more confidence than he felt, his voice didn’t even waiver. This wasn’t him. This him. It was past him. The Before Him. He wanted to scream at the wrongness but he looked the Sisters, no his aunts in the eyes and told them. 

“I remember.”


	5. 3:45PM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mask crumbled and he leaned into his father’s arms. The arms he had been safe in from the moment he was born. He didn’t let go of his mother’s hand but he wrapped his free arm around his father’s shoulders and he held tight. He was crying again and he shuddered as part of him rebelled against the hug, this man never did anything for them. For the world, for Wyatt, for the Elders, never for Chris. But the other memories were coming through. His father laughing with him while in the past. Helping him protect Wyatt, protecting Chris, holding Chris as he lay dying. He let out a sob and his father hugged him tighter, his voice breaking through the memories and chaos in his brain. 
> 
> (*)
> 
> Chris and his family discuss what has happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for today. 3 chapters in one day? And the LONGEST i've posted yet? 
> 
> I don't even know what inspired me to write so much today but I know if I don't post them now, I won't. But I will let you know, I ignored my laundry for this so you know there's that. 
> 
> I may go back and edit the previous chapters of Chris' day before the party. I like adding detail, so there might be an update. But i'm done for tonight
> 
> Thank you guys for the comments and kudos. It does blow my mind that someone likes this. 
> 
> So thank you.
> 
> ==============+============  
> Edit: 3/9/21: I did go back and edit Chapters 1 and 2. Go ahead and check them out. There is noticeable changes.

Paige was the one who put it together, gasping from beside Phoebe who nearly jumped with the sound. She turned to her sister and whacked her upper arm for the scare but Paige just shoved her. “Oh my god! You remember? You remember the Other Chris!” She all but shouted. Chris winced at the volume, his head still pounded but it was starting to settle now that he knew what was going on. He was still holding onto the mask of confidence when all he wanted was to sink into the couch and lean against his mother. 

“What other Chris?” Wyatt asked from beside him. He turned to look at his parents and Chris saw his eyes widen, “Dad? Dad are you okay?” Chris turned to see what he meant, his father had looked shocked, his skin pale and tears were in his eyes. He looked at Chris and his face showed nothing but love. He held up his arm but hesitated as if he thought Chris would pull away again. 

The mask crumbled and he leaned into his father’s arms. The arms he had been safe in from the moment he was born. He didn’t let go of his mother’s hand but he wrapped his free arm around his father’s shoulders and he held tight. He was crying again and he shuddered as part of him rebelled against the hug, this man never did anything for them. For the world, for Wyatt, for the Elders, never for Chris. But the other memories were coming through. His father laughing with him while in the past. Helping him protect Wyatt, protecting Chris, holding Chris as he lay dying. He let out a sob and his father hugged him tighter, his voice breaking through the memories and chaos in his brain. 

“Chris… Chris i’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.” His dad was mumbling over and over. Chris shook his head against his shoulder. “You did! I’m here, I remember it all, you saved me.” His voice was getting rougher from crying and he had to clear it to finish. “You saved him.” He lifted his head from his dad’s shoulder to turn and look at Wyatt. 

Any other time, the complete and utter confusion on his brother’s face would have Chris leaning against something, laughing his ass off. Chris frowned as the image of his brother’s face distorted to the same look, except his hair was longer and he had a goatee. Wyatt had the same look of confusion in his eyes before anger filled them and he snapped the neck of someone with a quick turn of his wrist. The Other Wyatt, Evil Wyatt. He had never stood for not being the smartest in the room and would kill or maim whatever had confused him as if they had personally insulted him. His vision distorted again and he let go of his dad and mom as he shuddered and shook his head. He was starting to feel sick again. 

“Okay! As much as all the hugging and crying is amazing, but what the absolute hell was that? What is everyone talking about?!” Melinda. She had finally snapped and any other time, any other day, it would be funny to watch the teen show her frustration at being kept out of the loop. But today was not any other day. Chris looked at his sister, she looked so much like his mom. Nothing shifted with her. Nothing changed, it was always just Melinda as he knew her. As he had always known her. Melinda… She hadn’t even existed in the other future, Leo never having been around enough to get back together with Piper to make another child. She was a living, breathing miracle to this Chris. He wanted to stagger towards her for a hug of her own but she must have guessed what he wanted from his face and held up her hands. “Nope, no more hugging until we get some answers.” He really looked at her. She looked shaken and scared but was growing more and more angry as his aunts continued to gape from the other side of the room and his parents had tears in their eyes. Only Wyatt seemed as confused as she did. 

“What the fuck happened to you back there?” She asked, her tone betraying how scared she was. It shook and he had to wonder what it looked like from her perspective. He didn’t even know what happened. It had felt like nothing he had ever been through before, in this timeline or the other. 

“I… Don’t know?” He asked and it was clearly the wrong answer because she practically growled at him. “Bullshit! You were practically seizing and then you screamed out for mom and dad and then passed out! What happened?” Now there was the anger. Chris didn’t know all of that happened, had he really called out for his parents? “And then Wyatt tried to heal you and nothing was working! We waited for 30 minutes for you to wake up! You scared us all to death!” 

“Hey lady… “ Paige tried to calm her down but Melinda growled at her too. “What the fuck happened to you!” She repeated. Chris shook his head and turned to look at his parents, unsure how to answer. How did you tell your little sister you died? That there was a whole other lifetime inside his head. One that didn’t include her? He didn’t even know why it happened when it did. Why didn’t he grow up with these memories? Why did it suddenly hit today? Why not the day before or the day after? 

He coughed to clear his voice and his aunt Phoebe, psychology major that she was, clapped her hands and smiled her uncomfortable smile where you could see her back molars. “I think we need some tea. Paige, let’s get the tea.” She grabbed her sister, who gaped and looked back at them before giving her awkward smile and nodding, “Tea… Right… yea…” She said as she laughed and walked off with her sister, Chris could hear her mutter “And lots of alcohol…” 

Chris still felt dizzy and Melinda was waiting, standing in front of him, shorter than him by a whole head and glaring at him as if it was his fault. He knew she was scared and she had always translated fear to anger. It was a trait she learned from their mother and Chris’ heart clenched to know that she hadn’t existed with his other self, he could have used a sister who reminded him of his mother when she died. 

He groaned as that memory came rushing to the forefront of his mind and Wyatt was the one who touched his shoulder to steady him. 

“I have to sit.” He muttered. His dad moved and he sat back down on the couch, his head in his hands as he stared down at the carpet, the familiar carpet. He looked up at Melinda who was still waiting and it hit him. Where was everyone else? The house had been full of his family members earlier. How many of them didn’t exist in the other timeline? It was hard to wrap his brain around how many lives weren’t there in that future. 

“Coop and P.J. took everyone home. Paige wanted to stay and Wyatt wouldn’t leave.” His mom explained as she moved to sit beside him. Her hands resting on his bicep and his back, rubbing gently. His father did the same on his other side. Being surrounded it felt like a trap and yet he wouldn’t let himself run away. they were his parents, they loved him. They weren’t the people he had to hide his identity from, they weren’t the people from the other future who died or didn’t care. 

“So are you going to tell us what happened? We weren’t sure if you were hit with a spell and we were about to be attacked!” Melly wouldn’t let it go but she was sitting in one of the arm chairs across from the couch. Wyatt did the same in the other chair. 

Chris didn’t want to talk, he didn’t know how to describe what happened. Now that he KNEW what it was, he didn’t know if he COULD explain it. He took a deep breath and tried to start but Wyatt leaning forward in his seat to listen and resting his forearms on his knees hit him hard. Seeing that pose, the concentration. He flinched, how many times had that look been given to him and been followed by a lie? Or by a mission with pain involved? How many times had he seen that look right before destruction. He shuddered again and looked down at the carpet again. It was grounding him. It wasn’t Wyatt… It wasn’t his Wyatt. It was the other one. This Wyatt loved him. This Wyatt spent time with his little brother, pulled pranks on their little sister, taste-tested their mom’s recipes and waited tables for her for extra cash and work experience. This one had his back in a demon hole and would always protect and love him. 

His mom’s voice shocked him into looking back up. “There’s something we never told you guys. We didn’t want to affect the future but about 24 years ago we met a young man from the future. He came back to help save Wyatt from something evil and to save his future from being torn apart.”

His siblings looked shocked and confused, Wyatt the most, his brow deepening with thought. Melly was frowning. “So what does this guy have to do with what happened today?”

“We’re getting there.” His mother said with a sigh. 

This young man couldn’t tell us who he was at first or that it was Wyatt he was saving. It took us nearly a year to figure it out and then nearly another to actually do it.” His father spoke up next. “We didn’t trust him, most of us, not until the last moment. He was a stranger who just claimed the future was terrible and then claimed it was Wyatt’s fault.” Chris flinched at the description but it was how he had been. Forced into a role of a stranger with an agenda, just to get them to listen. He felt that way now, someone on the outside, who shouldn’t want the comfort of his parent’s arms around his shoulders and rubbing his back. He had a mission.

But he had accomplished that mission. Seeing his brother, short blond hair, no ugly goatee, no black, no evil, no flatness in those blue eyes he had known all his life. He finished the mission. He saved Wyatt and paid for it with his life. 

His mom spoke again, he hadn’t seen the look that she sent his father while he was staring at Wyatt, but he did see how it was making Wyatt feel as he stared at him so he returned to looking at the carpet. The fibers, woven together in the same pattern, the scuffed marks he knew the origin of, the stains he may have put there himself in this timeline… It helped remind him where he was. WHEN he was. 

“Right, this young man was… really mysterious and he lied to us more than once. We did nearly everything we could to push him out of our lives.” His mom said and his dad spoke up next, “Almost sending him back where he came from without finishing his mission, even physically fighting him when given the chance.” Chris looked to the side and saw how ashamed his dad looked. 

“We finally did find out the truth. He had come back to stop something from turning Wyatt evil.” 

His mom looked at his oldest brother and Chris could see the shock on his face as she continued. “His Wyatt had turned into the new Source of All Evil and was destroying the world. And he did fix it. We found out that an Elder named Gideon thought that Wyatt was too powerful and wanted to kill him, so he kidnapped him and would have killed him or at least chased him all over the Underworld and turned him into--”

“Evil, resentful and full of hate, without an ounce of empathy or love.” Chris added, sounding so tired to his own ears. He closed his eyes, he could see what happened. It was the memory playing against his eyelids. He knew now why it happened today of all days. “I came up to the attic to protect and guard Wyatt and Gideon appeared next to the crib, I ran for him and Gideon stabbed me with an athame. I died hours later next to dad.” He didn’t open his eyes but he leaned against him. “And then I was born.” That’s why it happened today. 

There was silence in the parlor. 

For about 5 seconds.

“Wait wait wait! So you’re saying that Chris, our Chris went back in time from some hell dimension future to stop ME from turning evil?” 

Chris’ head shot up at Wyatt’s question. HIs brother was stiff as a board and looked… not confused. But genuinely angry. He had practically shouted the question and Chris couldn’t stop himself, flinching hard back from his brother. Wyatt stared in shock. Chris knew why, he had never flinched away from his brother. Not in true fear. If Wyatt was teasing him, pressing his buttons or was hurt and Wyatt was cleaning him up. But he had never been fearful of his big brother. Wyatt didn’t have the capacity to be scary to Chris, hadn’t had the capacity until today. He had once joked his brother was a golden retriever puppy, nothing threatening about him. But at that moment, the raised voice, the look on his big brother’s face. Chris felt fear flood through him and even though he was trying to control his reactions, it was too fast for him to stop. 

When he had flinched, his dad had held him tighter, watching the two of them like a hawk. He was human, what could he do to stop his oldest son from attacking his youngest son? But Chris felt safe in those arms, he kept trying to remember that when the other Chris only ever felt safe for moments at a time with Leo and only at the end. 

“Wyatt, if you could lower your voice that would be great.” His mother’s tone was soft but there was steel behind it. “We’re not done explaining. But yes, you’re right. Chris came back and saved you. But not our Chris, a different Chris…. This is going to be confusing.” She sighed and Chris reached out and squeezed her hand, offering her a small smile, “And you don’t have the headache.” He said softly. He felt wrung out, exhausted, like his head was filled with rocks and sand and glass that rattled around every time he breathed.

“So what was that then? The screaming and seizing and what happened at the table?” Melly asked, gesturing to the other room. Chris frowned and looked at the carpet as he thought about it. Thinking hurt. “Maybe… I was remembering the stabbing and then dying and then all these memories filled my head. All these sights and sounds… It hurt… Still hurts.” He mumbled as he tilted his head up to look at his siblings. Melinda looked less angry now, trying to process the information coming at her. But Wyatt looked shellshocked. Chris couldn’t figure out why until he realized Wyatt wasn’t looking at him anymore, he was looking at their dad. “So when I went back to the past, you didn’t tell me that Chris gave his life for me.” Chris’ eyes widened. He remembered that mishap of magic. 

Months ago, Wyatt had been pulled into the past, by an errant spell of his mother. Wyatt had explained that it was something about trying to find out why Wyatt was playing with only himself in preschool and wasn’t socializing normally. It had ended up with Wyatt saying he was somehow turned evil and he had described the power and how it felt to be able to summon demons to his will. It had felt like he could break the world and bend the masses to his will. He hadn’t told his siblings what his appearance had been but Chris knew now. He knew the long golden hair. The dark blue eyes and permanent smirk or glower. He knew the darkness that seeped from his very clothing. 

And now seeing the look Wyatt sported, his eyes were full of tears but they weren’t falling. He knew why he was upset. No one had told them anything. No one had told him that these memories would come rushing back. No one had told Wyatt he had been evil at some point until he had to experience it. The Other Chris, the other side of him whispered future consequences. Things that couldn’t be said because it would change things for the worse or better or just in general. 

Wyatt sniffled and wiped at his nose. “So that’s why I didn’t find a wound? You were clutching your stomach and then you started to scream No over and over again and then you passed out.” 

Wyatt was obviously trying to focus on Chris but he looked so lost, Chris could only nod to his question. There was a long beat of silence. It gave Chris a moment to settle his thoughts, settle his stomach. His brother was sitting in front of him, paragon of Good Magic. His sister was next to him and while he considered a devil, she was also a product of Good Magic. A product of him travelling back in time, she hadn’t been there before and now was. He was a big brother because of what the other him did. 

It also gave him a moment to realize his aunts were still not back from the kitchen. He realized they were probably listening at the doorway or arguing in the kitchen about the development. Phoebe must have been tied to a chair to be kept from this without a comment on feelings or psychology or the past. Paige would be listening with her own worries but wouldn’t comment until Chris was alone with her. 

“So you’re not dying right this moment right?” Melinda asked finally. Chris frowned at her words but shook his head in the negative. “As far as I know, no.” He said and she let out a breath, her shoulders sagging, looking so much like their mother at that moment, but she kept talking. “Okay, so other than you looking like crap, which… No offense big bro, you really do. We’re all safe and fine.” She summed up and Chris couldn’t help snorting at her candid attitude and even Wyatt looked at her like she was nuts before she shrugged and grinned before being shot down by her mother. 

“Melinda Prudence Halliwell!” It was clear that their mother didn’t think everything was fine. And truly it wasn’t but Chris appreciated his sister trying to lighten the mood and maybe take the focus off of him for a moment. 

“What? I’m not wrong! There’s no demons, no magical mishaps, nothing has happened to physically harm or kill anyone! We’re all good and Chris has a massive headache, that’s all!” She defended herself with wild gesturing. “And we,” She gestured between her and Wyatt, “Now know our brother was a huge hero, which sucks cause I still think he’s an annoying big brother, but he saved Wyatt and you guys and me.” 

He couldn’t help it, he laughed, a little manically, a little hysterically, but he laughed. Having to cover his mouth to keep from making too much noise. Chris felt like he might shake apart at any given moment but his little sister helped keep him together just a small amount. She smiled seeing his reaction, though it was tense at the sound of his laughs. Wyatt continued to look worried about him and Chris wished he would smile so he could stop seeing the distort between this face and the face of his...No Other Chris’ nightmares. 

“You know she’s got a point.” Aunt Paige piped up from the foyer. She stood there with her arms crossed while Phoebe was standing beside her, looking like nervous energy embodied. Paige had that understanding look she had when dealing with her charges and crisis’ that came up at Magic School. It was so familiar and strange at the same time. He had seen her before all of that. Before she joined the school and began to pass on her knowledge. He had seen her go through her temp jobs attempting to find a life outside of the magic. She had eventually embraced it but it was like whiplash to see her confidence now in her field. 

Phoebe on the other hand was practically bouncing. He suddenly wondered if the potion he took to block her empathy now worked but from her reaction, it didn’t. She must have a headache like his, feeling the swell of just his emotions alone? It felt like a tide to him, that he would be pulled under and slammed against the rocks, he couldn’t imagine what she felt. Paige must have talked to her if she was keeping quiet this long. He held no illusions that he was going to be ambushed later. 

Chris looked back at his parents, his mother looked annoyed and brushed the hair out of her face and let a small smile grace her features. “Okay, you’ve got a point.” She conceded and Chris looked at his dad who still looked a little distressed, he hadn’t stopped rubbing Chris’ back even when Chris sat back up. Almost like he was afraid Chris would disappear under his fingertips again. He looked back at Chris and sent him a reassuring smile. The smile he knew all his life from his very present and loving father. 

They all sat in silence before Melinda finally broke it. Sweet and devious Melinda who Chris was now more than ever thankful was there. 

“So if it’s all settled, maybe not continue with the party, but I’d like some of that cake.” Melinda stood up and brushed off her jeans and waved her hand, a bottle of aspirin appeared on the table in a flurry of orbs. “And that’s for you big bro. Thanks for saving our world.” 

Chris couldn’t help laughing again, his head hurt from the release of smiling but he appreciated her. “Got my ass kicked and actually died and my reward was a massive mental hangover and a bottle of aspirin.” He still leaned forward and shook out a couple and took them quickly, swallowing them dry.

“Hey! I said thank you. And even got you a kickass present.” Melinda rolled her eyes playfully. Chris smiled at her and looked at Wyatt. He was still quiet and appeared to be thinking. “Wy?” His older brother blinked his awareness and looked him in the eye. It took a moment and Chris felt tension rising in his shoulders. What if Wyatt hated him? It was an irrational thought but it still twisted in his brain until his big brother gave him a small smile. “I’m just trying to think if I can remember you from before. You know when I was little?” He shook his head. “I can’t really but it might come to me.” 

That’s right. Wyatt was a toddler. He had enough knowledge and sense to know a threat when he felt one back then. Throwing up his shield against Chris when they were alone until Chris earned his trust. A toddler’s trust. Chris had flashes of glaring at the babe in their mother’s arms. Of worrying if the looks on his brother’s face would morph into those evil smiles, he was acquainted. It hurt to remember because he wasn’t used to it but he couldn’t help snorting at Wyatt. “I remember though, you were a pretty cute kid, when you weren’t summoning dragons or playing with manticores or dirtying your diaper.” Wyatt flipped him off and finally cracked a full smile. He reached forward so fast that Chris didn’t have a chance to stop himself from flinching back. Wyatt’s hand stopped midway over the coffee table and pulled back. Everyone seemed to hold their breath. 

Wyatt looked so hurt and Chris couldn’t offer him anything other than a muttered, “Reflex.” 

It didn’t seem to be enough, Wyatt still looking as though he had been kicked. He only hummed for a moment and stood up. He was trying not to look upset but he couldn’t hide it well, not from his little brother. Chris knew him inside and out and now he had even more knowledge rattling around in his brain. Wyatt shoved his hands into his pant pockets, “I’m going to help Mel.” Nevermind that Mel never needed any help, but his sister took pity on their older brother and grabbed his elbow tugging him out of the parlor into the living room towards the kitchen. 

Phoebe watched him the hardest and before he could even open his mouth to talk to her, Paige interrupted him. “I think you should sit and relax, your head must be killing you. We’ll talk later when you’re feeling up to it. Won’t we Phoeb?” She turned a knowing smile to the middle sister and Phoebe nearly imploded but a look from Piper added finally made her deflate. “Yea… But we will be talking!” She said. Chris let out a snort and nodded his agreement. This was so much right now. He needed to lay down. Settle his thoughts. 

Turning to look at his parents, he almost didn’t want to move. He was surrounded by people his other self didn’t have. Either taken from him or neglected him. Being between the two people who raised him created a safe feeling he didn’t think he’d ever get anywhere else. But he needed to be alone. It was an instinctual need, he didn’t know if it was from him or the Other Chris. He was a normally private person but Other Chris was the extreme to his personality. 

This was so confusing. 

“I’m going to go lay down… My head’s killing me. Save me a piece of cake?” He didn’t want to leave but he needed some space. 

HIs mother blinked and looked shocked but slowly nodded,“Okay peanut, whatever you say,” She kept rubbing his back and reached up, brushing his hair from his face. “Just come down when you’re feeling better.” He moved to stand and she mirrored him. Wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. He returned her hug and it was hell to pull away but this was too much, “I’ll save you a half for us to share later.” She whispered in his ear before he was able to take a full step back and he gave her a half-smile and turned, his father had stood and pulled him into a hug as well. This was harder to pull away from. Other Chris had been friends with Leo, trusted him at the end and Leo trusted him but they had started out so apart. So incredibly distrustful that violence had actually occurred at one point. He loved his dad and his dad had loved him before he had even been born. He had to remember that. His dad had been with him at the moment of his death.  
He squeezed him back tight before pulling away and not saying anything, he had to get out of there. He orbed up to his room and immediately shut and locked the door. Not that it mattered in a house where 3 out 5 people could orb. But it was a barrier he needed desperately. 

It wasn’t like it was finally hitting, but all the talking had distracted him from the sick feeling in his stomach and his bedroom, his familiar comforting bedroom that had been his all his life suddenly swam as he saw what it had been before. Phoebe’s old room. The sick feel returned and he dashed to the bathroom, the shared bathroom, so he felt only slightly bad as he shut the door and locked both sides before dropping to his knees and vomiting up everything he had eaten from earlier that day. 

He hacked until he couldn’t anymore and sat against the cabinet, his knees pulled up to his chest as he panted. This was all too much. 

It was his fucking birthday.

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter is super short but I'll try to make the others longer.


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